Should A Aspiring Influencer Friend Cease Exploiting Me for Material?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?